I was supposed to do a blog post on Weds for Bonnie’s Book Club. If you were anticipating that, I apologize. I’ve been a little overwhelmed.
I have been biting off more than I can chew lately, it’s a pretty constant problem in my life. I constantly want to go go go but I put so much on my plate, then my depression kicks in so I get NOTHING done. My anxiety then let’s me know what a worthless POS I am and we go round and round.
BUT some great things are slowly happening… the kids and I got some Halloween decorations up
We got some much needed yard work done, we chopped down 5 trees and sprayed the weeds, I might need to do that again.
I have lost 6lbs!! I know that is a seemingly minor victory BUT for me it’s pretty huge.
Homeschool is going… ok… ish… there are great days and days when the kids and I scream at each other. We finally got to the library (our local is closed for renovations). The closest one we can go to is 45min away… and it is in a temporary building. But it was great to get new books!
I have done SO MANY LOADS OF LAUNDRY this week. I gave clothes away, donated some can goods.
I have been working really hard to get my life in order, but I still have SO MUCH TO DO.
That’s where I am this Friday night. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!! Got any definite plans? We have 90% chance of rain so we are staying in.
I have wanted to homeschool for years and I am taking advantage of the insanity of the world to make it happen.
My desire to homeschool started when my oldest was in first grade the first time. He struggled A LOT with reading, writing, social interaction, and well, just about everything.
My take away from that disastrous year was I wanted to homeschool him. I wanted to teach him in a way that he would benefit, understand and enjoy. But I was a single mom and it was my job to work.
Flash forward about 4 years and I am remarried and a stay at home mom during a pandemic where it became the “it” thing to homeschool. I jumped on the bandwagon!
I went back and forth over my decision, got input from my husband and family. Some super supportive some really hurtful. I researched requirements and costs associated. Being a one income family, I wanted to keep our costs low.
My first step was being added to homeschool groups on FB. Specifically groups in my area. Those moms have so much knowledge and experience it was great to ask their opinions. In our state it is required that we are in a homeschool association so I researched those extensively and asked for recommendations.
After deciding on an association I started to research co-ops. I didn’t even know that co-ops were a thing, (total newbie) but they are and they are EXPENSIVE. I was looking at these prices and my mind was blown. I could not afford all of that. The main takeaway for co-ops seemed to be social interaction.
Well we live in a social media day and age soooooooo I hoped on my trusty Facebook and BLAMO!!!! Playdates that are free and possibly fun for me.
So all that was left was the curriculum (and whatever supplies I needed). When you start looking at curriculums make sure your association does not require a certain one, or have it be religious (I went secular for my curriculum… I teach God outside of school). Also check what proof they require, I need calendar days tracked, and proof of their work.
So I started my search where I always start my search… Amazon… and Amazon told me that curriculums are EXPENSIVE. They were a complete WTF moment.
Enter more peoples opinions, I was told online public school was free?! Worth a looking into…. But they are all online and you are logged in for hours in front of a computer screen and you have to go at the school’s pace. For my daughter that probably would have worked, but for my son, not so much.
Back to the face place to stalk the answers about curriculums and it seemed most moms (who were not doing religious based learning) made up their own…. but how??? This is where I am semi proud of myself (the diet coke of proud). I went to the Dept of Education website for our state and found what they require!! That easy. I pieced together my own curriculum.
I bought things from the dollar store, Five Below, Amazon (has digital teaching items) and I found videos on YouTube to make learning more interesting and less mommy monotonous. Teacherspayteachers.com has free downloads, they are not entire curriculums but they are some worksheets you can use to insure comprehension.
So we have been “in school” since 8/3, Monday thru Friday, except for 2 days when I thought I was dying of Corona. My son loves homeschooling and is actually retaining information. He still struggles with writing so I’m hoping to have to research how to help him there. My daughter hates it, but only because she isn’t with her friends. She is excelling and because I make up the curriculum she can move ahead.
Not every day is perfect, I am learning quickly though what works and what doesn’t for them. I am praying that we are successful and that I am showing them learning can be fun. This on-going experience is reminding me what amazing kids I have, and for that I am forever grateful.
This will definitely not be the only homeschool blog, I want to talk fied trips and money saving tips. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I am obviously not an expert but I have a team of them on my Facebook pages!
I have seen many posts shared on Facebook about motherhood and how we (women) lose ourselves when we become mothers. They talk about the guilt and the weight gain, the depression. And that is only part of being a mother.
So much changes after women have kids, and I don’t want to demean what men go through, I can’t speak of it personally though.
Our bodies are never the same; fat in new places, stretch marks, nipples twice the size and darker. My breasts look like deflated balloons when I’m not breastfeeding.
The hormones we have racing through our bodies is INSANE. It’s similar to SC weather, 30 degrees at 7am and 70 degrees at noon, snow the next day.
The first time we hold the baby that’s been destroying us for 40 weeks is …. I can’t even think of a word. We go through the traumatic experience of labor and then we are handed this tiny human who depends completely on us. And though there are plenty of books, they don’t actually help you with your first post labor bowel movement or survive that first night home.
The love and compulsion to keep this little human safe is overwhelming. We have never felt this strongly about anything and it is terrifying. The first time they get shots and let out that shrill cry, the first time they have to “cry it out”, the first bruise/fall. Learning the heimlich for babies because your daughter is actually choking on an apple. The fear and sadness that we feel, going through these totally normal and necessary moments in our babies lives.
Our heart, or a large part of it, is literally walking around outside our body.
We want to be the best mother we can be, whether we are a stay at home mom or working mom. We sacrifice ouselves, body, sanity, sleep, diet, health, careers, all to be involved. Society tells us whatever we are doing is never enough or good enough. We push ourselves to the limit.
I wasn’t actually going in this direction when I started this post, but the blog took me here.
What I am saying here is motherhood is hard, again I’m not demeaning fatherhood, and moms if you read this. I salute you.
I thought I would give an update on my resolutions since it has been over 14 days
Most resolutions last only 14 days, did you know that?
Well I am proud to say that most of mine are going strong. I am exercising, reading, most days I am eating healthy, there are even entire days that the downstairs of my house is CLEAN!!
I have not concentrated on my business yet, which is upsetting but sometimes it feels like there are not enough hours in the day.
I am pretty excited to say that I’ll be recording a video of me working on some Valentine’s day resin pieces. I am both excited and nervous because I’m awkward. I am hoping that I will just come off as cool and relaxed, lol.
I have already finished Me Before You and started on After You, the sequel. I’m probably going to start blogging about the books that I read versus their movie counterparts. I LOVE comparing them!
I am very proud to say that my resolutions are rubbing off on my kids, my oldest son, who HATES reading, has been caught reading a book on his own time twice! And they are both getting more active with me and wanting to workout.
I was really hoping that making positive changes in my life would run off on my kids. Though they are not fat AT ALL I want them to have a healthy outlook on diet and exercise that will help them their entire life. When I was younger I was skinny, and I took that for granted. I was super out of shape and struggled to even get through a gym class. It makes getting skinnier after being obese for so long really hard.
So now that it is actually the beginning of February I can say that I am still keeping the downstairs of my house clean, working out, walking (I did 90 miles last month) and I’m eating pretty well!
I’m excited about the positive changes that I’m seeing in the house
I’m not changing myself, there isn’t anything wrong with me!! <—- that’s me pretending I have self confidence
I have things I could improve on, like washing, folding and putting away the laundry in a 2 day period, max.
What I’m calling my New Year’s Resolution is Live a Life Worth Blogging About.
I want to make sure that my family is living, really living. Not stuck in front of the TV or in the house. I want them to live.
I have goals though.
1. I want to work out at least 4 times a week.
2. I want to read at least one book a month.
3. I want to make sure that I am prioritizing my business. I have a business that I haven’t really written about here and I’ve been really lazy with it.
4. My house… I am a slob IRL. I don’t prioritize cleaning AT ALL. But since buying a house, the kids having friends coming over, me meeting moms that come over and having a mom that is a clean freak who hates coming to my house because it’s messy. I want to do better cleaning my house.
5. My marriage, that is pretty self evident. You should ALWAYS work on your relationship.
6. Eat less. I LOVE food. Love it. I want to keep losing weight and my problem is food.
So those are my goals, most of them, maybe all. I want to hopefully keep these going. I sure you know that most people give up their resolutions within 2 weeks.
What are your resolutions? Do you ever stick with them or not buy into it at all?
Christmas has come and gone now. The gifts have been unwrapped, toys played with, food eaten and kids are now asleep.
Well most of the house is asleep. I am up finishing my book
I am going up to bed, but I thought I would blog the day.
Our Christmas Eve went according to plan completely. Dinner, church, toast, opening one gift.
If you are a parent or an aunt, uncle, grandparent or anyone who helps with a child you know the rush and work that gets put in on Christmas Eve night after the kids are asleep. There is last minute wrapping, toys that need to be built, organizing of the presents and various other tasks. All for giving our kids the most magical Christmas ever!!
On Christmas morning the nerves and excitement are coursing through your veins hoping they love everything, even though you won’t get credit for everything you did *Santa*. But it is all worth it to see the smiles on their faces
This year was a hard one for me. I did not buy my older 2 kids (9 and 8) a single toy! Not a one.
I did not come to this decision lightly and I went back and forth multiple times. My kids don’t play with toys much anymore AND they have so many that they really didn’t NEED anymore. I decided to get them gifts that they would use more than once and things that would stimulate their minds.
I almost cried when I went to bed last night after setting up because we celebrate Christmas with my family. My brother has 3 boys and their piles were HUGE, piles of toys.
I knew my kids were going to see those piles and compare theirs, which were much smaller.
*this is our first Christmas with one income and in the past, even as a single mom I SPOILED my kids*
I tried to think positive and say that they would appreciate what they got.
It was as almost true. My son loved what he got, his big present was a build your own computer kit and monitor. He will be able to code his own Minecraft games.
My daughter did not appreciate much at first, she saw the size difference between piles and she was jealous. She smiled as she opened her gifts, but there wasn’t her normal joy. She didn’t get a “big” gift so to speak, she got roller skates and a radio/bluetooth speaker for listening to music.
I was hurt and disappointed to say the least, but there was nothing I could do. The parents open their gifts after the kids and then we eat breakfast.
After breakfast she came to me with her skates and asked if she could try them. I was so excited!
We went outside and practiced… this was her first time in skates
She did well, which is normal. She excels at anything physical.
After that her whole attitude changed.
I felt so much better.
And despite not recieving any toys, my children never once said, I’m bored!!
If you know that line then you have seen Wedding Crashers. This blog has nothing to do with Wedding Crashers and everything to do with meatloaf.
If you are a mom and have a son like mine who hates anything green, then this is the blog for you!! I have tricked my “green hating” son into eating carrots, green beans and peas while eating his favorite food. Meatloaf.
I have tried so many different methods to make my son eat the food that he hates, which is mostly healthy stuff, but not always with him.
1. You will sit at this table until you eat all your food. Can’t watch your tv shows if your kid is sitting there, it’s basically a reward.
2. Screaming and yelling. That just doesn’t work people… ever
3. You’re grounded from… he just plays with something else
4. You’re grounded from everything! Follows you around and asks where babies come from, or makes new toys out of toilet paper rolls and other trash items
5. Catering to what he wants. It takes 45 minutes for him to poop because his body has no fiber
It is hard being a parent and the last thing any of us need is something to make it harder.
Enter my lots of Hidden Veggies Meatloaf
Ingredients, ground beef (can be chicken), bread crumbs, egg, bbq sauce and baby food… yep my secret ingredient is baby food.
I don’t measure anything by the way, I just “feel” what the recipe needs.
Blend all ingredients together
That’s a lot of bread crumbs… I felt too much
Cook at 450 for about 45 min to an hour
You have a happy kid who doesnt know he’s eating carrots, peas and spinach.
This idea is pretty versatile as well, you can use it for meatballs, in spaghetti sauce, if you coat them well, even chicken nuggets would work!
Happy Thanksgiving to all and now it’s officially CHRISTMAS TIME
So its Thanksgiving today, well it was Thanksgiving today. Its 10pm and for me and my family, its over. I finally just got the baby down
Yes that really is the baby and myself in a really dark room. I wasn’t going to use the flash and risk waking him up!
He’s been difficult these last few weeks.
I don’t really take many pics on Thanksgiving because I’m usually recovering from working LONG overnights or getting ready to go to work because, retail.
*insert Hunger Games Whistle* recognition to those who work retail
This is my first year in 6 years where Thanksgiving was actually a holiday, so it was a new experience for me.
My big kids are always with their dad on Thanksgiving and normally this doesn’t bother me at all… I’m at work. But this year was different and it made me sad. I miss them, even in less than a day.
But the day continued as any holiday, big family get together, lots of food, good cheer, laughter and a huge amount of stress for the chick who suffers from social anxiety, lol.
Having kids is kind of a buffer for me. When people are around my big kids, they just want to compliment them and talk about them and that is FINE with me. Without them, the topic of what the baby has going on ends quickly. He has 2 teeth, taking steps and yes we vaccinate. End.
And then I’m left with a pit in my stomach and an awkward face that makes people think I’m sick, haha.
But I survived and now I have 3 days with my husband in my old stomping grounds so we are going to see what fun we can come up with!
Happy Thanksgiving to all and now we are officially in CHRISTMAS TIME!!!
There were happy moments and bring joy to me remembering them
I have mentioned before that I was married before. It didn’t end well, in fact most of the marriage wasn’t great. We were 2 kids who got married “to do the right thing” and we failed.
When I left I started a whole new life, new email address, social media accounts, the works.
I was single for 3 years after I left, I was damaged and broken and then I met this wonderful man who was and is ok with my faults and fears. He strives to help me heal and we have a great life together; storybook great.
I’ve been going through my old Facebook account because Matt likes to look at pictures of the kids as babies and compare them to Tobias.
I have mixed feelings about looking through the past because there are terrible memories like this
(There’s a story there)
And though painful, I’m actually ok with those because it confirms why we aren’t together.
But there also moments like these
Look how young we were! Full of hopes and dreams.
There were happy moments and bring joy to me remembering them
But is that ok?
I wouldn’t give up what I have right now for anything, but does that mean I have to hate my life before?
I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place in my situation. On one hand I have this amazing husband and I don’t ever want him to think I have any regrets. On the other, I now have knowledge and maturity and when I think of my past I remember the moments I wish I would have used them.
My ex and I have a touchy relationship, pain and anger harvested on both sides. We do our best for our kids.
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a blog and I’ve been feeling guilty about it! I really enjoy taking time out to write these and I’ve been working on the same blog for over a week and it just isn’t right yet.
This past month has been so busy for me it’s hard to concentrate on writing right now.
August is the home of our anniversaries (marriage and dating), both of our birthdays (husband and mine) and back to school for the kids. So we’ve been busy!
The business received several orders for artworks, signs and coasters.
I started working out 2-3 times a week with other moms (I am not a social person so that’s new to me). In the same category, I’ve been talking to the moms at the kids bus stop. I am almost considering a girls night out with them… but it may be too soon.
I got put back on meds for anxiety and depression, that is an ongoing adventure that’s getting a blog for sure!
I’ve been working some weekends cleaning houses, which is ironic because my house is usually a MESS!
My sister is talking to me again! I thought she was mad at me… I tend to say really stupid/hurtful things and usually not on purpose so I was really worried I did it again… but she was just busy (so she wasn’t really not speaking to me, but I felt unspoken to) .
Life has been pretty great lately, I’m feeling proud of myself for everything that I’ve got going on and the meds are working so well that I’m not worried about the other shoe dropping!