My favorite topic

It really isn’t my favorite, but I think I write about it the most.

I have started an exercise program AGAIN…. I will have to go through my blogs to count the number that mention me losing weight or working out. I know it is a lot and as much as I try to pretend that I am ok looking the way I do, I AM NOT…..

So a couple of weeks ago my husband and I went to the vineyard where we were married. It was our first time back and I got dressed up, I wanted to look nice! I put on this blue dress that always made me feel beautiful(skinny) and I put makeup on(I don’t normally). I was dressed to the nines!! I felt amazing and I asked my husband to take pictures of me, I don’t have many pictures of me looking nice.

I thought I was looking great

He sent me the pictures a few days later and the happy bubble that I had created for myself popped. I burst into tears and I started throwing a pity party for myself. I really looked at myself in the mirror and…. gross.

SO once again I am trying working out to lose my belly, back, arm, thigh and any other body part fat. I have started LIIFT4 from Beachbody. I was doing this before I broke my toe in July and I loved it! I have doubled the weight I was using so it is much harder, but I am praying that it will be worth it. I have not gotten to the point where I love working out or crave it like a drug, but I am pushing through the sore muscles and fatigue. My bigger kids are being really supportive and they have done the workouts with me and have tried to help me out around the house because I am exhausted.

My self worth does…

I keep hoping that I can stick with the program because I need to feel better about myself. I know that my  worth isn’t in how I look, but I don’t really care. I want to fit in my clothes, I want to look at pictures of myself and not want to puke, I want to be proud of myself again and I want to be strong! When my husband tells me that I am beautiful I want to believe him.

I am aware that the skinny brat (who thought she was fat) I was before kids is gone, but I would like that fat lump of lard that has replaced her to disappear a little too, lol. This is said with lighthearted intent.

I have filled my phone with motivation

Have you ever lost a large amount of weight? Or finished something that you started multiple times?

Author: bonniemalicki

I am a re-married mom of 3 kids, 2 cats and 5 rats!! I have started an art business with my mom, I am a part time dog and baby sitter. My husband and I just bought a house and we are figuring out homeownership, marriage and parenting a baby (again for me... it's been awhile) together. This blog is just for fun to talk about our journey; the trials and tribulations of everything we have going on!

5 thoughts on “My favorite topic”

  1. Hi Bonnie! First, I’m going to say that you DO LOOK BEAUTIFUL!! You are gorgeous, and I love your dress and shoes! 😍

    Secondly, I will tell you that yes, if you want to lose weight, you must stick with it – just like the photo above. I love the fact that you were talking about losing weight for yourself. That is so incredibly important. (But also know that it most definitely is not a straight line, it’s full of ups and downs)

    When I was in high school I was always pretty average size, then I was in the military so I was pretty toned. Fast forward several years after getting out of the military and in a TERRIBLE and TOXIC relationship. I gained so. much. weight. I was honestly disgusted by myself. I was the biggest I had ever been in my whole entire life. I started working towards a healthier me again, and it took time. The relationship I was in made it so hard, because if I wanted to eat something healthy instead of what was being made for everyone else I would get yelled at, and practically spit on. I kept at it, though, and now I am back to the same size I was in high school / military. Except I’m not as toned anymore – still working on that part. 🤷‍♀️

    Working out is FABULOUS, but also remember that 80% of your weight loss will come from the kitchen and making smart eating choices. Once you start eating well, it honestly just becomes a habit and lifestyle. Over the course of the years I have lost about 50+ pounds, and have maintained my current (normal for me) weight for the last two years. The most important thing is that I am comfortable with where I am at now. I didn’t base my ideal weight on anyone’s thoughts of where I should be. And PLEASE for the love of all things, don’t go on the internet and see what it says you should weigh based on your height and age. According to those charts I should be anywhere between 90 – 105 pounds which looks sickly. Best of luck to you, and if you would like to inbox me please feel free!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Amy! I appreciate your kind words. My struggle with my weight really comes from my diet. I love ALL food and I have no self control when it comes to moderation. I’m working on it, but for right now I’m focusing on at least working out.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m in the same boat. I have an injury that is preventing me from the exercise part but the eating part I could change. I lost 25lbs back in 2006/07 and I kept it for about seven years! After having two more kids, and with the introduction of autism to our family (done quite rudely, I might add, lol), I gained it all back and then some. 😦
    I have hope, though. I gotta get my back better.
    I love the motivational quotes you found! You can do this!!

    Liked by 1 person

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